fat thursday

by now, i’ve lost my rose colored glasses when it comes to doctors.  i know they can’t fix everything.  i know they don’t know everything.  and i sure as hell know they don’t dictate the choices that i will make for my family.  the good ones know these things as well.  the bad ones don’t and try to exercise the authority that they think the initials after their names gives them.  um no.

so little chunkadunk, maxine. we took her to the geneticist today.  said geneticist was already on my crap list for not having gotten back to me for almost six weeks after she said she would.  separate issue, regarding evelyn.  perhaps this geneticist did not appreciate the fact that i complained to evelyn’s medical social worker about her utter unresponsiveness.  but i digress.

maxine had an appointment to rule out overgrowth disorders today.  i assure you that i was not at the geneticist to seek advice about infant breastfeeding or infant nutrition.  she ruled out the potential genetic issue for which i am majorly relieved; although, part of me wondered if she hadn’t ruled that out before she even saw us.  the questions did not center around genetics.  in fact, they were almost entirely about maxine’s feeding schedules.  i, certainly, understand that these questions had a very legitimate place in our consultation. however, some attention should have been given to her actual field of expertise.  GENETICS.

she, apparently, wanted to demonstrate how very little she knows about the subjects on which she preached.  having, obviously paid no attention to my answers, she proceeded to tell me that my exclusively breastfed child was obese.  her answer?  wean the seven month old baby and start her on solids instead.  anyone that knows anything about breastfeeding, this is like telling an overweight adult to replace salads with cheesecake to lose weight.  and wean a seven month old?   credibility lost.

how dare i argue with a doctor, right?  that’s what she thought too.  mothers that aren’t doctors cannot be educated and well informed. certainly, they shouldn’t be so brazen as to defy a god doctor with a differing opinion.  oddly, the doctor could not back up her opinions with evidence and the mama could. how about that?  but that mattered…NOT.  i should bow to her alleged anecdotal evidence.  sorry to say, doc, “because i said so” stopped working on me about 25 years ago.

as much as i enjoy being borderline accused of abusing my child by breastfeeding on demand as my instinct and solid medical evidence indicate i should, i’m taking the medical records for both of my children and moving them to dartmouth.  dartmouth.  where i hope that the doctors will either have a clue about breastfeeding or be smart enough to shut it.

after all this, i was so frustrated that i cried.    as mamas, we are judged, questioned, and criticized for following our instincts and nurturing our children in a way that feels right.  it is no wonder that women have trouble establishing and maintaining a successful breastfeeding relationship in this country.  i was so thankful to have a la leche league leader as a friend to call.  it is so lovely to be lifted up by a fellow mama…as only another mama, fighting the good fight, can.

One thought on “fat thursday

  1. Oh dear. I love the cheesecake/salad comparison. Sometimes it not only shocks, but saddens me how truly uneducated the medical profession is about breastfeeding. I’ve been forced to tears at well checks, which is nothing compared to the more extensive doctors I am sure you have, but none the less to have any “professional” who you MIGHT look to for advice, or help if you have no where else, to be not only uneducated but unkind really just irks me. I just wanted to say, from one mother to another, that you are an amazing mother. Your beautiful girls are so lucky to have you, and you to have them ( as you know!)
    It is so important & great to have other parents who don’t look at your actions, or views or child rearing choices as weird, but to know just what your talking about & assure you what you already knew, but may have breifly been hurt over for a second due to some jerky doctor.
    You rock mama. Just sayin’!!!

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