I’m struggling with Evie’s autism lately.

And yes, I’m angry.

Angry with the people that have a singular focus.

Angry with the people that refuse to consider that there may be more than one way to help her.

Angry with the people that are so certain of their own opinion, that they refuse to hear a different perspective.

Angry with the people that view her differences as a detriment rather than beautiful.

Angry with the people that want to force Evie to live in a neuro-typical world–rather than building bridges that will allow us all to cross back and forth between these two worlds.

This is my dear child.  I am her fierce and protective mama.

You may have 200 letters after your name.  Your walls may be lined with diplomas and certificates proclaiming your autism expertise awesomeness.

But I’ve got something better.  I’ve got a mother’s intuition.  I’ve got my child’s best interests at heart 100% of the time–regardless of the budget, regardless of the current educational trends.  I have earned my child’s love.  I know my child better than any other soul on this planet.

I know how to make my child smile.

I know how to alleviate her frustrations at being stuck in a world that mostly doesn’t understand her.

I know what she needs.  And I am tired.  Tired of trying to play nice at the expense of her best interests.

So I quit.  I quit the politics.  I quit smiling and trying to accommodate egos.  I quit all of the bullshit that doesn’t serve Evie 100%.

I am on team Evie.  And only team Evie.

I am sorry Evie.  Sorry that I allowed myself to put the egos of others ahead of your needs.  I failed you.  I will not fail you in that way again.  Ever.

You are my perfect child.  You don’t need to be fixed.  You don’t need to be cured.  You need to be happy.  Like everyone, you need to work for your happiness.  But you need to work for YOUR notion of happiness.  Not the idea of happiness that someone else imposes on you.

We are working in the right direction.  We have some fabulous people that are going to bat for you-and your happiness.  We have some fresh perspectives.  We are seeing some really great things for you.

We are seeing you smile more.  Kiss more.  and cuddle more.

Everything else can take a back seat to that.