the places we go…brought to you by kidwearing

I hate saying that Evie can’t do something.

But the truth is that she simply cannot walk for a long time due to her physical limitations.

Evelyn is not a fan of the stroller.  And, frankly, neither am I.  It takes up tons of room.  And it really limits where we can go.  I’m thinking back to an attempt we made to navigate an unpaved corn maze using the stroller.  Not good.  Think about trying to push a stroller along a beach or into tight spaces.

We have been “wearing” Evie since she was a tiny baby.  We used a lot of wraps when she was a baby and then moved onto the Ergo mostly…although I still occasionally throw her in a front wrap on the moby for perspective on how big she has gotten.  And a laugh.  Not to actually do anything.

Using carriers has been crucial for our family to access the world…keeping life accessible to us.  Limiting the places that we take both children or leaving Evie with a babysitter is simply not something we are willing to consider.  My kids go where I go.  I don’t leave them for longer than a couple of hours.  For me, happiness is its truest when I share moments with my kids.  While I recognize that as they get older, things will naturally change, not yet.

For a long, long time, I’ve been pushing the limits of the Ergo Carrier.  By a lot. I think it is rated for 35 lbs and Evie weighs 55 lbs.  I planned to use it for as long as Evie fit in it.

Yesterday we took a trip to Montreal and Evie rode the carrier for several hours.  Today my back and neck are in severe distress.

I was almost in tears, thinking this morning, “how are we going to go anywhere for any duration of time?”

I posted a desperate plea on Facebook, tagging a few fierce babywearing advocate friends.  In case you don’t know, there is this entire culture of babywearing parents that exists.  To say they are “into it” would be, perhaps, the understatement of the century.  So pretty much within minutes of posting, my post had been replied to, reposted, and replied to lots more by my friend’s babywearing friends.

These people are seriously amazing.  I had many great suggestions and a link to this post from a woman who continues to wear her 11 year old child for reasons similar to the ones that we have carried Evie.  Her 11 year old weighs less than Evie, but I found some great carrier options in her post and in the comments below.

I have, now, ordered several carriers over the course of the last few hours.  Several means three?  Okay maybe more than several.  I consider these to be investments in our family.  These are Evie’s soccer shoes, her art camps, and whatever other expenses typically developing kids might acquire.

These carriers will keep doors open to our family for as long as I am physically able to strap her to my back and for as long as she is safe and happy back there.

I hate being reminded of what Evie can’t do.  Usually, I don’t give it much thought because I don’t have to.  Even better than not thinking about it, is finding a way to do what I think is impossible.  Today, a piece of fabric strapped to my back, well several-ish pieces of fabric, will continue to allow us to go to all of the places we want to go and to keep life accessible to us.

Thanks Nicole (and friends of Nicole), Leila, and Kathlin!

2 thoughts on “the places we go…brought to you by kidwearing

  1. I just discovered your blog tonight – your post ‘the cost of compliance’ was linked on another page that I follow (and it, along with unstrangemind’s post has now been bookmarked and will be sent to everyone who has a part in my son’s development), as I have always shared similar concerns about compliance, you articulated what I have always felt so precisely. He just started school two days ago – he just turned five. But the reason I am commenting on this post is that we have always worn him (not so much these days, but we always have time for wrappy snuggles when he asks for them). Some of the most incredible memories I have with him are him snuggling into my chest or back – aside from the physical and emotional bond and enjoyment (he’s always been very physically affectionate, until he’s overwhelmed, then sensory defensiveness kicks in), it always gave him the ability to choose his own level of engagement in a situation. And I think he really loved the procioreceptive aspects of it as well. So I understand first hand what it means to have the benefits of baby (and kid) wearing and how it can make so many things more accessible. It sounds like you have already found great advice in the babywearing community (I know only too well about the intensity of the babywearing culture, as I’m pretty immersed in it myself), but if you ever need any tips on wearing your new carriers and getting them comfortable – or are interested in talking to other parents who wear their kids who have autism, just ask! (And the carrier geek in me is desperately curious to know what goodies you’ve got coming!)

    • Suse! Thank you for replying. I ordered a ton of carriers. I mean a ton. I am not giving up on this yet. I would LOVE talking to other parents that wear their kids. My Boba just got here yesterday. Kinderpack and olives and applesauce come to mind as other orders. If you mark to get comments by email, I will add them here as they come. You’re the only person to have commented so I don’t think your email will be overrun. LOL. Anyhow, I get that geeky curiosity. I owned a natural parenting store for a couple of years and was similarly obsessed with cloth diapers. I had a mild obsession with carriers 🙂 We hosted a babywearing group in our community space.

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