because she is better

 

Pink sky and beach.  A shadow of a person in blue standing on the beach. Text reads:  "I will not ask my child to change so the world can stay the same.

Pink sky and beach. A shadow of a person in blue standing on the beach.
Text reads: “I will not ask my child to change so the world can stay the same.

I will not ask my child to change so the world can stay the same.
I will not.

Many people will cast her out for flapping, for flopping, for being Autistic.
I will cast many people out for being bigots.

The world is filled with dangers for Autistic people.
All the more reason to teach her safety and self-advocacy skills.

It is often really hard to be a parent.
It is.

I worry about what will happen to her when I’m gone.
I better prepare her for the world and the world for her.

I wonder what kind of life she will have if she doesn’t choose to conform.
I know the kind of life she will have if I force her to try.

The world isn’t going to change for her.
She isn’t going to change for the world.

I can’t change the world.
Yes I can.

She isn’t the child I dreamed I’d have.
She’s better.

4 thoughts on “because she is better

  1. This is beautiful and so important. It’s wonderful that there are people who care about Autistic people as you do.
    Autistic people should be given the choice over how much we want to conform or how much effort we put into passing. Trying to conform can make life easier but it carries high costs because it takes a lot energy and doesn’t let us our true selves. And the more autists who conform the less awareness there is of what we’re really like, among both Autistic and allistic people.

  2. I love this and I love you! I just read another parent blog that was so negative and horrifying. Her daughter was just diagnosed as Autistic and all she could talk about was how heartbroken she was. It made me feel so sad for her child, who deserves so much more from her mother. How wonderful to see this kind of message standing in opposition to that.

    Unconditional love. Unconditional acceptance. It’s what every child deserves, but we all know that most Autistic children do not get that. There is so much love here. We all need more of this. Thank you. ❤

    • I don’t mind hearing people say they are heartbroken because they are articulating a very real emotion, they are worried and confused and they need support to be a good parent. I think the main problem is that when their life gets straightened out later on and they end up realising they’re actually fine and perfectly happy, we don’t hear about it. We need more stories that tell parents they’ll be fine. Their life will be different to average maybe but still fabulous, just like their kids. What do you think?

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