i am NOT Kelli Stapleton

I am NOT Kelli Stapleton.  Don’t call me that.

And I sure as hell hope you aren’t either.  Or I have a call to child protective services that I am morally obligated to make.

I have a bipolar diagnosis.  I’ve struggled lifelong with bouts of depression, anxiety, and insomnia.  I’m no stranger to emotional instability.  I can say with some certainty that I will never break.  More on that in a bit.

I can say with absolute, unflinching, unyielding, certainty that I will NEVER break my children.

How can I be so sure?

Because I love my children.  When I am feeling low, you won’t find me on Facebook or Twitter posting nasty little ditties about my kids.

Not like this:
loving mother 1

Or this:
loving mother 4

Or this:
loving mother 5

Because this kinda thing?  It isn’t about mental illness.  It is about a selfish mother who doesn’t have an ounce of respect for her child as a human being.

This?  This is about a mother who has systematically and publicly demeaned and degraded her child–over the course of years.  A mother who does not, and has not, valued her child’s humanity for a very long time.
loving mother 2

If I am crumbling and close to the point of breaking?  I’m not blogging about my hatred for my child.  I’m taking a big old break from the blog and social media.  In fact I am doing that little break thing the moment I start to feel overwhelmed–like I have more on my plate than I can currently handle.

I’m getting help before I get to the point where I am loading my kid and poison into the van.  Well before that.

If I don’t get to choose what help will look like?  Like if around the clock care for my kid is just not good enough, for instance?  I’m surrendering my child to protective services.  to protect her from me.

Kinda like alcoholism.  I have all of the empathy in the world for a person who struggles with alcohol addiction.  The moment that person sets foot in a car and recklessly kills another person?  My empathy dries up.  Not for all alcoholics.  But for that person.  I don’t want to talk about how the system failed that person.  I don’t want to talk about what help that person should have had.  That is disrespectful to the person who was killed and the people that cared about that person.

Does that mean I think we should stop talking about alcoholism and the supports that alcoholics need?  Not even.  It just means that I keep that conversation separate from the one around the crime.

Crumbling, breaking, falling apart parents of disabled children?  The ones with “caregiver” stress/burnout, whatever?  They don’t have the time or energy to pop on Twitter to say something humiliating about their children.  Or to write blog posts filled with intimate details about their children.

This isn’t some vendetta.  This isn’t about vilifying anyone.  No need to vilify a person that is ALREADY a villain.  This is about the methodical devaluation of disabled human beings–and all its possible tragic endings.

This isn’t about discouraging caregivers from connecting with resources.  This isn’t about silencing those that need help.  This isn’t about denying stress or mental illness.

This is about insisting that there is always an alternative to killing your child.  This is about acknowledging that as parents, we are responsible for our mental health.

This is about not allowing the allies of murderers or would be murderers to cloak reality in the guise of lack of services and mental illness.

This is about not speaking about disabled people and especially disabled victims of violent crime in ways which normalize and establish caregiver murder as understandable, acceptable, or even expected.

This is about not allowing ourselves to be indoctrinated, by the murder apologists, with the notion that we could be Kelli Stapleton  This is about all of the would be Kelli Stapletons refusing to acknowledge that they have taken steps down that same road Kelli traveled.  Deliberate steps through the choices they make every single day.

This is about their manipulation tactic:  “You could be Kelli.”

Attempted murder doesn’t happen to just any old parent of any old Autistic kid.  It happens to the ones that don’t love their kids.  The ones that would rather snuff out a life than take a brand of help that is undesirable to them.

I could not be Kelli Stapleton.

Not now.  Not ever.  Not in the absolute worst possible set of circumstances.

I’m not Kelli Stapleton.

If you love your child, neither are you.

15 thoughts on “i am NOT Kelli Stapleton

  1. Reblogged this on Melissa Fields, Autist and commented:
    Yes. This. All of this.
    There is no excuse on earth for what “Killi” Stapleton did to Issy, any of it…..the attempted murder was the worst thing she did to Issy, who is a human being, not the monster that Killi portrayed her to be, but before she tried to end Issy’s life? She went onto her Twitter time and time and time again to villify and shame Issy. Being bipolar or having any other mental illness does NOT make one a murderer. Killi still knew right from wrong, and she chose to do evil and to think evil of her own daughter, her own flesh and blood.

  2. Thank you, Beth! I got sick after reading Kelli Stapleton’s personal twitter yesterday. Her entire Twitter thread is alarming on numerous levels.

    I appreciate that you highlighted some of the more disturbing comments. It’s a glimpse into the mind of a woman who had no regard or respect for her child’s life, or right to privacy and dignity. Even the title “ragingblond” shows her selfish-mindset.

    Her husband testified correctly in court when he held her accountable and responsible for hurting Issy, as he simultaneously denounced the negative portrayal that Kelli and her defense team attempted to paint of Issy.

  3. Reblogged this on Walkin' on the edge and commented:
    “The ones with “caregiver” stress/burnout, whatever? They don’t have the time or energy to pop on Twitter to say something humiliating about their children. Or to write blog posts filled with intimate details about their children.” Exactly

  4. Is there an organization we parents who would not justify hurting our children w/disabilities can join? I have been so shocked, sickened, infuriated. If not, can we start one?

  5. Thank you for this! I am so tired of these martyr moms acting like attempted murder is reasonable. Yet, they say Issy was the one who was aggressive???? I do not understand their logic.

    As an Autistic person and someone with multiple mental health diagnoses myself, and a parent, I would be disgusted and horrified if my Autistic child thought that he was just “lucky” because I didn’t kill him. As if that is the least that he deserves. These Stapleton defenders should be ashamed of themselves and get to work making this up to their children immediately.

    Defending child abuse is a really shitty hobby.

  6. Fuck yes! Thank you. I am so sick of hearing how bad mommy dearest had it. I get tired and scared and frustrated. And it is possible that I might snap someday and hurt myself but would never, ever hurt my boys.

  7. This is exactly what needs to be understood. Exploiting an Autistic family member for social media attention needs no further understanding. Attempting to murder the person you have exploited is criminal. Got it!! Wish everyone else did. Thank you for this!

  8. Pingback: Autism LinkFest | Understanding and Embracing Diversity

  9. Pingback: Autistic Representation and Real-Life Consequences: An In-Depth Look

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