Non-consent: that’s how sex works

Angry, radical,feminists are urging us to do the unthinkable! We must continue to vigorously oppose their unfounded assertions that we are conditioned to believe that sexual encounters are supposed to be coercive. It is unreasonable and ludicrous to suggest that explicit consent be attained by sexual initiators. “That’s not how sex works and never will!” Sexual initiators shouldn’t be expected to ask, “is this okay?”… let alone have actual conversations about consent! A woman feeling violated and coerced is, obviously, infinitely preferable to assuring consent. THAT is how sex works, people.

The notion that women should be, at a minimum, indisputably willing participants in sexual activity is outlandish. The thought that a women should actually enjoy sex? Well, that’s so repugnant to us that we actually prefer her to be bulldozed, humiliated, and feeling like shit.

Women are supposed to be chaste— WANT to be chaste. We aren’t EVER supposed to be completely willing. We are raised to know that sex is for men— that it’s something that we must endure after eventually submitting to a series of increasingly aggressive sexual advances. We are taught to begrudgingly exchange access to our bodies ONLY for a commitment. Thats how sex works.

Those of us that actually enjoy sex are slutty abominations. When we allow ourselves to feel sexual desire, we forfeit our right to credibly reject sexual advances from any man in any situation, ever.

This is not only how “sex works”, this is how sex should continue to work.  Don’t suggest otherwise.

Men aren’t “mind readers.” But we shouldn’t dare suggest that men ASK instead of attempting to read our minds. That’s just preposterous.

And poor men! All the “mixed messages” we send them. First we expected them not to violently rape us when we were walking down the street, alone, at night, wearing “suggestive” clothing. Just as they are generous enough to kind of sort of pay lip service to granting us that right, we expect them to decipher even more ridiculous mixed messages.

This time we’ve gone too far! “Even women agree!” If you don’t agree to engage in any and all manner of sexual activity, you say goodnight after dinner. You CERTAINLY don’t accompany your date back to his apartment. That’s mixed messages! Once you’re in his apartment? You may not expect your withdrawal of consent to be honored. You signed yourself over when you entered and irrevocably sealed the deal to submit to all sexual activity when you engaged in the one. Don’t like it? Well you shouldn’t have gone there in the first place. That’s how sex works.

Pushing a man’s hand away is obviously not a “clear non verbal cue.” You can’t say something as nebulous as “I don’t want to feel forced” or “not tonight” and expect men to decipher that jibberish. You must scream, “no!” and fight if you aren’t just playing a coy game of hard to get. We know a guy is a keeper when he merely wrests control of our bodies through coercion instead of violent rape.

Victims of actual sexual assault—the REAL victims— are easily recognizable because they behave like victims are supposed to behave. Forget the legal definition of sexual assault and all that mumbo jumbo about “explicit consent.” Slutty women that have ever felt the slightest stirring of sexual desire are automatically excluded from ever being a real victims. Real victims fight back physically. And they don’t freeze up and they aren’t silent because they are afraid of escalating violence. Real victims don’t willingly go to the apartment of a date. And REAL victims always leave because men ALWAYS make leaving feel okay and safe.

We need to “do our part” and “take responsibility.” While we are at it, it’s time to acknowledge that it’s not just our bodies that men are entitled to unless we scream “no”! We can’t, reasonably, expect men to ask permission to take, touch, or use anything else that we think belongs to us either. I propose that we CLEARLY label our money, cars, homes, phones, etc with “No”—any personal property we aren’t granting men unfettered access to.  We need to make sure that we are sending the right message to men. “You don’t need consent to touch, use, or take anything that belongs to a women unless it is boldly pre-labeled, “no!”.

Come on girls! We’ve had our fun with the whole cute little #metoo thing. Men were super duper awesome to indulge us that. Some of them even nodded along! But we are going too far in suggesting—let alone talking about— that coercion is abuse. I know we are prone to hysteria over inconsequential issues like autonomy. But, we need to calm down, shut up, and remember: that’s how sex works.